I could not help thinking of the Buddhist, when listening to what you had to say. I don't practice Buddhism (if that's what one does with it) but I have studied it a bit, and I'm familiar with the philosophy.

One of the beliefs is that the true self is modified by experiences in life. What's taken out of these experiences, and the way they affect the self becomes an add-on to the self. In this way, the person develops, and the resultant growth, deformity or otherwise enhancement is always an encumbrance or an asset to the self.

If we read the Buddhist proverbs, they all refer and reflect on the inner self and how it can become shadowed or enhanced by experience.

I may be off the mark, but what I take from what you are saying is that the way we choose to live our life may well affect our true (inner) self in a way not unlike the way the Buddhist philosophy sees it.

Catchya later
from Middle-earth